How to Rush Less

I don’t think it’s possible to live your life without rushing. At least not in this modern world. We’ve got constant demands, and no matter what you’re doing, there’s always the next thing to do.

We’ve got to get to appointments on time, eat, take the kids to soccer, get the groceries, pick the kids up, make dinner, and fit time in to relax.

While doing one thing, we’re planning the next, organizing, strategizing, and moving with purpose. When you’re really in the flow, it can feel like a sport and can actually be fun. But constantly rushing takes its toll. It is exhausting. It can hurt relationships, send your nervous system into survival mode, and burn you out.

I remember this one time when I was in an unavoidable rush. I was so close to being late for work that I had to run for the bus, run for the metro, and run to transfer. There was no room to make a mistake. And in this rushed-out state of mind, everyone around me became nothing more than an obstacle. As a result, everyone who was slower than me was, in my mind, an asshole.

I remember thinking to myself—don’t they have any respect for anyone else? Don’t they care that other people have places to go? Hold your bag! Move to the right! Be aware! People these days!

And then, as I was running across the platform to change from one line to another, there was this elderly man hobbling with his cane excruciatingly in my way. As I passed, I looked back in frustration and caught a glimpse of his face—he was rushing just as best as he could, too. That shook me.

I mean, how painful to still be rushing at 80 years old—dangerous, too. At 80, rushing can lead to falling, and falling, as we all know, can lead to the beginning of the end.

I wonder, how long had that older man been rushing?

But it is possible to rush less. It is.

There are moments when we don’t need to rush. And we can take advantage of these. The challenge is that we often get stuck in a pattern of rushing. Always rushing when pressed easily leads to rushing even when you’ve got space to take your time. I call it the treadmill effect.

You’ve been jogging for half an hour; you step off, and the world still feels like it’s moving. It doesn’t last long, and everything calibrates by itself. But when it comes to rushing in our everyday lives, unless you notice an opportunity to slow down and then take it, it’s likely that you will continue pushing forward relentlessly, just like that elderly man.  

For me, unnecessary rushing often happens when I’m doing the dishes. Fuck, I’d rather be watching T.V., reading, doing yoga, or just sitting! So, I rush through them—doing them just to get them done. No harm, but here’s the point: rushing is exhausting. It is actually more tiring to rush than to do what you’re doing and pay attention as you do it.

So, how do you do it?

How do you rush less? First step: notice that you’re rushing. You can’t fix something you don’t notice. So ask yourself: “How do I know when I’m rushing?”

Do you feel it? Do you recognize it in the way you act? The way you speak? It could be anything. Personally, I feel tension in my stomach, and I tend to be harsher to the people around me. For my sister, she starts trying to do too many things at once. How about for you?

Next step? Ask yourself: “What do I do when I notice I’m rushing?”

Maybe you aren’t sure and don’t know. Maybe you already have a technique. And if you do, please share it in the comments below. There’s probably someone who will benefit.

But if you don’t, know that it is something you can practice and get better at. Disciplines like yoga, tai chi, kung fu, meditation, and stream-of-consciousness writing are all useful tools that help you recognize patterns like rushing or the precursors to getting stuck in survival mode.

Noticing how you function is the first step towards change. If we never notice, we risk treating the things and people we love as obstacles because we’re always stuck rushing and focusing on everything other than what we’re doing and where we are.

Helping clients extricate themselves from the constant rush and that survival state of mind is what we do in the program Excellence Without The Burnout.

What about when I’m pressed and got to get things done?

When it comes to being intense without rushing, Kung fu exercises are particularly great. They teach relaxed focus in the presence of great discomfort. But honestly, any sport will teach you how to be intense—aggressive even—without being violent or rushed. We all see it when a superstar is in the zone: they're on fire, performing at a superhuman level—and yet not rushed.

Intense and focused, but not rushed.

How do they do it? Practice, support, and good coaching. With this trifecta, you can bring that excellence into your everyday life. You can meet the demands of the moment with poise, intelligence, and perfect timing, which is another thing about rushing: it has no timing.

What can I do today?

For now, here’s something that can help you today. When you notice you’re rushing, take three breaths. As you inhale, say to yourself: breathing in, I am here. As you exhale: breathing out, I relax my shoulders (and actually feel your shoulders let go).

As always, if you have any questions, reach out. I’d love to talk to you. Or you can contact me and book an intro session today. We’ll talk, do some movement, and start creating an action plan that will help you remove yourself from survival mode and start thriving in your life and in your work.

Peace and all the best-