I Want to Play My Life

My heart wants to play. Serious, rigidity cracks and crumbles—it’s dry—play is full and alive.

I want to be like a child. Be free, be joy, be love—children hold this wonderful innocence, and I want to regain that in the way I live my life—in the way I approach my everyday. I want to pay my taxes like a child playing a game. Do it well, get it done, but in the end, just a game.

Can I hold both?

Can I do what needs to be done in a less serious, fearful way?

I hear all the reasons to be serious—all the reasons to hold things seriously: there is so much pain and suffering in the world.

But isn’t there enough without sacrificing my inner child as well?

I know it sounds ridiculous to some, but I see what I’m looking for in the eyes of the Dalai Lama. In his eyes, I see the sadness of one who understands all the pain going on in this world, while simultaneously, I see the joy and wonder of a child witnessing the beauty and freshness of each moment.

I see it in his eyes. I know it is possible.

Let me not be lost in the void of serious rigidity. Let me live with the wisdom that holds the spectrum as reality. Let me see the world—all of its wonder and all of its terror. It’s the only thing that will save me from drudgery—the only thing that will bring me into maturity without collapsing under the strain of hopelessness.