5 Signs You’re Stuck in the Grind—And How to Take Back Control

You don’t always have a choice. Sometimes, you’ve got to toughen up and push through exhaustion in order to get things done, build something new, or make a splash at a job. But there are many areas in our lives where we take our choices for granted and don’t acknowledge the sacrifices that we make on a day-to-day basis.

Sure, staying humble is noble, but as long as you take your choices (for better or worse) for granted, you’ll miss opportunities to grow as a person, increase your confidence, and/or change your approach when necessary. In a worst-case scenario, exhaustion becomes perpetual, and life starts to feel like a never-ending to-do list.

But there are signs to look for, and simple shifts in perspective can alleviate potential problems before they become a bigger issue like burnout.

Sign #1. You don’t give yourself credit for honourable actions and healthy choices.

We often write off some of the biggest choices we make in our lives as a given. But there is almost always a choice. Recognizing those choices can reanimate a dry routine in a surprising way.

Let’s take family as an example. Family can be extremely taxing. Whether you’re raising children, dealing with difficult siblings, or helping an elderly family member, when you’re already exhausted, it can all feel like too much of a burden, even like being trapped.

I’ve had moments where I’ve decided to help a family member and just been so angry that I was ‘forced’ to do so. But when I took a breath and reflected, I realized that I had a choice, and I did, in fact, decide to sacrifice my time to help.

The same can be true with kids. Remember, you could run out on your family. Not everyone sticks around through thick and thin. True, maybe the potential loss of reputation, relationships, and friends is such a sacrifice it feels like you don’t have a choice, but you do.

“When you take your honorable and healthy choices for granted and write them off as a given, you’re leaving energy on the table.”

The same can be true for sticking with a difficult job, helping out a friend in need, doing right by a coworker, or deciding to have a salad instead of a burger. Don’t take it for granted when you’ve chosen to do something. It’s a waste.

I had a boss who used to say, “Never leave money on the table,” which meant that if there was a sale to make—a more expensive bottle of wine, a plate of oysters, or a more expensive bourbon—when you neglected to sell the highest item possible, you were essentially leaving money on the table. I like to think of energy as its own currency, and when you take your honorable and healthy choices for granted and write them off as a given, you’re leaving energy on the table. Come now, let’s not be wasteful.

Sign #2. You think perpetual exhaustion is just the way it is.

It’s inevitable: there are times when you need to prioritize work over health, and so you choose to put your exhaustion to the side and get things done. But this should always be temporary.

When exhaustion becomes a prolonged state, you’ve got to ask yourself, are you still choosing to push through, or are you taking that choice for granted and just pushing through because it’s what you’ve always done?

Maybe your answer is yes. You’re still working for a long-term goal, and you gotta keep on keepin’ on. If so, take a moment to reflect on all you’ve sacrificed, take pride in the choice, and remember why you’re choosing to keep going. You got this.

If you answered no, you’ve stopped choosing and keep pushing out of duty or habit, and exhaustion has become a way of life, it might be time to reassess your approach to energy management. Remember, you have a choice; it’s not without risk or sacrifice, but there are other ways than the constant grind (Learn about The Mind-Body Program).

Sign #3. You’re working harder and making money but growing no closer to your goals.

In my experience, it’s quite rare that people work to make money for money’s sake. Behind the need for money, there’s almost always another reason.

It might be power, prestige, or to have nice things. It might be to support your family, to feel secure and safe, to take care of your future, or to have peace of mind. But there is always a reason behind the money.

“The extra work might earn more money but cost you the very thing you’re working for.”

The thing is, we get blinded by the money and forget the goal. When this happens, you enter a zone where you’re pushing day in and day out but not actually getting any closer to what you really want.

In fact, the extra work might earn more money but cost you the very thing you’re looking for.

Is forcing yourself to take on another project actually providing you with more freedom? Is the work you’re putting in for that extra money giving you security or costing you your health? Are you working overtime because you want to support your loved ones, but you’re losing connection with your family because you’re never home?

Keep your eyes on the prize and ask yourself if you are working harder because you’re choosing to move towards your goals or if something else is at play. Becoming aware here could save you from burnout and help you find a more sustainable way to work towards what you really want.

Sign #4. You’re telling yourself, “I can’t do this for another 20 years,” “I’m at my limit,” or “I can’t keep this pace anymore.”

This is both the most dangerous place to be and the most chock-full of potential. On the one hand, it means that you’re fed up and ready for a real change. But you’re right on the cusp, and without the right push, you could be stuck between two choices for an indefinite period of time.

Why?

Because within the statement “I can’t do this for another 20 years” there is the subtle hope that you don’t have to choose to stop; the world will choose for you, and you will, at some point, burn out and finally be allowed to rest. 

Nothing could be less beneficial.

For one, if you do burnout, you lose the chance to make a ballsy choice. Instead of empowering yourself, you let life throw you around and you lose an opportunity to grow. Not to mention, burnout isn’t fun and affords no chance to do anything but recover.

Second, consider the possibility that you could last 20 years. How many bitter, old baby boomers do you know that just trudged through life day in and day out?

Ask yourself, what if you really can stay at this level of exhaustion for 20 years without completely burning out? Are you willing to commit that much of your life to this same drudgery?

The scary thing is, once you ask yourself this, you suddenly realize you have a choice.

Sign #5. You’re plagued by aches and pains, and you just chalk it up to getting older.

Yes, as you get older, you’ve got to accept that you will get stiffer and bounce back more slowly. But accepting your 30’s or 40’s as the beginning of the end without investing in your physical health is a choice. Pretending there’s nothing you can do is taking that choice for granted.

I’m not saying it’s an easy choice, and I’m not saying that you can wake up, decide to take better care of yourself, and then boom—disciplined.

Sometimes, people have internal blockages to being healthy that need to be worked through. Some clients I’ve worked with have failed so many times to be healthier that they were afraid of ailing again. Then there are those who say it’s age because sacrificing time at work is almost unimaginable, even if it means better health.

But let’s face it, you have a choice.

Think of it like an investment. If you want to make more, you have to invest something, either more time, effort, or money. You can’t get more without giving more. In the same way, there are sacrifices to make if you want to focus your mind, feel better in your body, and improve your quality of life.

“Every day you put off your health, you’re choosing to age more quickly than you need to. ”

It might mean taking on less responsibility at work or carving out space in your schedule. If this seems daunting, working with a coach, someone to keep you accountable and get you consistent, might be exactly what you need. Remember, being healthier doesn’t mean giving up everything you love; it might just mean moving 1 hour a week. But don’t fool yourself. Every day you put off your health, you’re choosing to age more quickly than you need to.

A client recently told me that for the first time in 4 years, he slept without being woken up by back pain. What would that mean for you? Would you commit 2 hours a week to have that become your reality? (Book Your Free Intro Session Here)

The Round-Up

When your energy is taxed, you’ve got a load of demands, and you start feeling stuck or trapped in life; choosing anything different can seem overwhelming and even impossible. The truth is, it takes courage to recognize that the grind isn’t working for you and that you actually do have a choice. Choice doesn’t mean risk-free or without sacrifice. But it does mean the ability to change.

If you’re feeling stuck, take a moment and reflect on the choices above. The first step is acknowledging that you do, in fact, feel stuck. The second step is recognizing that choice exists. The next step is to make space in your life so you can get really clear on what you want.

Even just taking 10 minutes, sitting down and writing a stream of consciousness, where you ask yourself, “What do I want?” can help. Hell, just ten minutes sitting on a couch, not doing anything, or going for a walk can free up enough mental space to let your brain find its own answers.

If you’re interested in learning about The Mind-Body Program and discovering for yourself how my approach can get you out of your own way and make the choices you’ve been longing to make. Book your free intro session today. We’ll get you started with an action plan and start you moving toward a life with greater fulfillment, energy, and purpose.

All the best,

Joe